Disappointment--get used to it?

Today I had my hopes sky high to find out what the sex of the baby is. Last month I felt the same, only to find out that the baby wasn't ready to let us see. Apparently it still feels the SAME way. So after waiting 4 more weeks, I went back in again today. The doctor had a really hard time seeing anything since its legs were crossed--yet again. At first she was guessing "girl" but then all of a sudden saw "something" and said, "wait, possibly a boy!" She's not 100% sure, though, so I really don't know if it's a girl, boy, or possibly a combo of both (gah)? I was so upset I just cried and cried once I got to the parking lot. I was just so dissappointed that we couldn't tell what we're having. I can't take the suspense any longer. Yet, I have to.

I have no idea how some women don't want to find out on purpose. I CAN'T STAND not knowing. Although a boy would be cool for a myriad of reasons, I'm not sure if my body will be able to have 3 children, so I am really hoping for a girl. I'd love to have at least one of each. Before today I was convinced it was a girl--now I am totally doubting it and super confused. Oh well what do you do? So now I have to wait until December 21st for a third try at trying to tell what we're having. This next appointment will be the 3-D ultrasound, so if we can't tell on that one, I may very well have to just WAIT until this baby is born to find out! GAH!

Otherwise, I've been feeling the baby move just a tad here and there lately. Always a cool thing. It just feels like soft little taps and pokes. It's nice to know its alive & kicking in there. And I got to hear the heartbeat today, too. That was comforting. So all in all, today wasn't a total dissappointment, I guess!