Third time's a charm?

So I guess now is as good a time as any to spill the beans...I'm pregnant again! I've kept it on the down-low until now in light of everything that happened with the last pregnancy. I've tried to "pretend" it wasn't real for as long as I could so that I wouldn't worry too much. I finally dragged myself into the doctor when I was 12 weeks. Luckily, everything looked just fine. I am now in my 15th week. There is a chance that we'll get to see the sex of the baby by the end of the month--I really hope so! If not, we'll have to wait another month.

I am really excited (and nervous) about having a 2nd child. Of course I want one--I just doubt my ability to keep my sanity with a newborn and a curious toddler at the same time. I may need to call in reinforcements! Otherwise, I haven't felt as sick with this pregnancy as I did with Jase (hope that means it's a girl); however, don't get me wrong--I have felt sick! It just comes and goes rather quickly, and it's usually worse at night. Yet oddly enough I'm not sick enough to keep me from eating. It has improved in the last couple of weeks, though.

My only big fear at this point is the flu. And the news media is NOT helping me feel any better about it. I am terrified of getting it--much more so than when I'm not pregnant. And I am worried about Jase getting sick. I have been on the fence about getting vaccinated (myself and/or jasey)--but for now have decided against it. H1N1 vaccine is just too new and untested for my liking, and as far as the regular flu vaccine, I've never had one before in my life--so I worry that I'll get one and have a terrible reaction to it which would cause harm to the baby...so that is enough of a concern to have me "just say no" to it for now. I will be pregnant this ENTIRE winter season, so that is just crappy timing. However, I am super pumped about a spring baby! I felt so "shut-in" when I had Jase in the late fall. It was cold, wet, yucky...couldn't go outside much at all. I cried a lot. This time around I'll be able to get some sunshine to help ward off those postpartum blues and let Jase run and play outside while I hang out on the porch with the newbie. Paints a nicer picture, doesn't it?

In the end I just keep telling myself there really isn't much I can do. I mean, I am doing my best to be extra hand-sanitizery after every store trip, church event, touching germy things, etc. And after all of that it's truly just in God's hands. It makes me feel better when I think of life that way. Do your best, and deal with what comes when it comes. Ok--easier said than done. Who am I kidding??? I am the world's biggest paranoid worry-freak alive!!!