Thankful for my Family & my Life

Well, a few of you have heard already but for those that didn't--we lost the baby Thursday (I was about 9-10 weeks along). I just wanted to do a post to let everyone know I'm okay. It was pretty sad when I realized what was happening, but I kind of knew it wasn't good news. I called and got into an OB on Friday to check everything out and confirm the news. My normal doctor was out of town (of course my luck) but the doctor that saw me was really great about everything. Plus I already "knew" so it wasn't too much of a shock at the doctor's office. Anyways, at that point he said things looked fine and I shouldn't need any procedures done, and to go home but keep an eye open for some warning signs. ***ok this is a warning for the squeamish to stop reading this post now, but this is my way of keeping a record of what happened to me because it really made me appreciate my life and my family****

Besides some moderate stomach cramping and bleeding, I was feeling just fine. We went to lunch, ran some errands, and came home. I rested for a while on the couch, then went to sit outside with Jase to play after his nap. I started feeling a bit more strong cramps (really like contractions) while I was outside sitting down. Roob had gone back to town to get some pizza and was just arriving home (about 6pm) when I stood up to get Jase inside to eat. When I did, gushes of blood & tissue started running down my legs and onto my feet (eek!). At that point, I went inside and stood in the bathtub to assess the situation and try not to panic. After 15 minutes, the hemorrhaging did not let up (and seemed to be getting much worse) so I had to call the doctor after hours on his cell. He seemed to think I'd be ok but told me some things to look for and if those happened than I'd need to go to the ER (friday night, every clinic is closed. lovely). Well I called a few friends who've had miscarriages before to explain what I was going through and when they told me it was nothing like what was happening to me, I started to get more worried. I was in the bathtub about 2 hours when I decided it was ER time. I really had a very panicked moment like I was going to die right there in that tub. Looking down and standing in inches of your own blood and tissue is horrifying. I was worried I would pass out at home from the loss of blood. It was still alternating from dripping very quickly to gushing (it wouldn't even stop long enough for me to get out and get dressed) even after 2 hours of just standing there. Anyways, we somehow got all loaded up in the car, dropped Jase off at the in-laws' house, and off to the ER.

God was with me because I only had to wait about 15 minutes (miracle) before they took me back into a small room and started blood work (almost passed out from that) and an IV. I had the best nurse, too. Somehow we left my phone in the car so I wasn't able to call and let people know what was going on, but at that point it was a lot of just "sit & wait." I was feeling very light-headed and woozy from the loss of blood, so they hooked me up to some fluids via the IV and I started to feel MUCH better (besides the cramping). Roob and I settled in watching some Bruce Willis flick on TV. The ER doc came in and did an exam on me (ugh) and ended up called the OB that saw me earlier on Friday and see what he wanted to do about stopping the bleeding. So more sit & wait time. Finally Roob was able to take a quick run to the car to get my phone. I called my mom and was filling her in when the nurse came back into the room to have me sign consent forms for a D&C procedure (this is done vaginally where they just make sure your uterus is completely cleaned out). I hung up, and all of a sudden I lost control of my body (guess the loss of buckets of blood caught up with me). Though I was still barely conscious, I couldn't move or respond too well. I felt absolutely awful. Crazy how just seconds before I was feeling just fine. I managed to ask the nurse for another bag of fluids (my previous one ran out about 2 hrs earlier) and I heard her tell me she'd go ask for permission to give me one. (yay!) Slowly I started feeling a hair better and was able to talk to Roob who was filling out the papers for me. I did get another fluid bag at that point, and was feeling back to my ol' self in minutes.

Soon enough (about midnight) I was wheeled back to surgery prep. So all in all I guess it was about 6 hours of hemorrhaging until I got the procedure done. Everything in all 3 of the hospital beds I had been in were completely soaked. Me, the blankets, the bottom half of my gowns--even the floors (which were scrubbed)! So disgusting! Anyway, back to the surgery prep room...So the nurses there were adorable! They were so sweet and cute with me. I was surprisingly calm at this point (I am convinced it was due to everyone's prayers--so thank you--because normal Amiee would have been in a panic) knowing they were about to put me under general anesthesia. Next thing ya know it was all over. I woke up clean, dry, and toasty warm under some blankets. Doctors orders said I could go home if I wanted to, or stay the night. I almost stayed because I was so exhausted, but when I realized the nurses would be coming in to monitor me every half and hour, I quickly changed my mind! Ha! So she watched me for a little while and soon I was released and wheel-chaired to the car. I felt some slight nausea due to the anesthesia, but otherwise all the cramping was gone and I could definitely tell the bleeding went from absolutely ridiculous to very light.

I'm not sure why in the last 2 years I feel like I have been in more hospitals, clinics, doctor's offices, and just plain sick with viruses, etc., but I guess all those years of being pretty healthy have come and gone. It's like someone pulled the "Amiee's-turn-to-get-some-new-life-experiences" card. Well I hope that card will be put away for the next phase of my life! I am so done with drama! :) So even though the sadness of losing the baby is still here with me, I am so appreciative of the family that I do have. I love my husband and Jase so much, it hurts. I am so thankful for my life, that I made it through this and it's all over, and that I felt mostly at peace during yesterday's events. It really makes ya take a 2nd look at your blessings. So for all of you who are still reading--don't worry about me! I am feeling much better, taking it easy, and emotionally I am doing fine. I feel like I will get pregnant again down the road here, and all will be great. Thank you for all your thoughts, concern, prayers and love. It truly made a difference!